Since many unworthy and underserving characters would happily buy their way into influence and prestige, and BN politicians willing to use their influence, with the right amount of money, to ensure it, dato'ships and other titles of ennoblement could be bought. It is a mark of "prestige" and "influence" for third rate business men to have as many dato'ships as there are states in the Malaysian federation. They could not have got them for their good works or service to the state. In the last two decades, when there were not enough dato'ships to go around, many states set up new orders in the name of the rulers. The adage that if one throws a stone into the air, it would hit a dozen dato's if it hits one man is only too true. At the centre, the Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, had a new order of dato's, PJN, which is awarded in large numbers annually for mostly political service. Each member in the National Front (BN) has an informal quota of dato'ships and other awards they can nominate, and several, not to put a fine point to it, sell them to the highest bidder. Sometimes this makes the news. A PPP official accused its president, Dato' M. Kayveas, of having taken a bribe for an award he never received. The affair died down when he joined the government.

If you go by the rantings of the National Front (BN) court jester and buffoon-in-chief, the Gerakan Rakyat Malaysia and the Malaysian Indian Congress had better beware. The president of the forgettable PPP, Dato' M. Kayveas, is on the warpath -- and after their parliamentary and state assembly representation. He wants their parliamentary and state seats. No less. At its 49th annual general meeting on Sunday (06 Oct '02), he made three impossible demands: 21 seats in Parliament and 32 in the state assemblies; compulsory study in schools of Malay, Mandarin, Tamil and English as the first step towards a united Bangsa Malaysia.

In empires of old, the emperor has a court jester to provide comic relief. In the new Malaysian (virtual) empire, the emperor in his spanking, built to imperial order, capital, Putra Jaya, has his. Like all imperial clowns, he is unpredictable, often makes people cry when they should laugh, laugh when they should cry, drive all up the wall, occasionally with ideas above his station, often losing his head metaphorically, politically, literally with his belief he is the Emperor's alter ego. In the court of Emperor Mahathir Mohamed of the Malaysian National Front (BN) empire, the court jester is the deputy transport minister, Dato' M. Kayveas. He was brought in to put the MIC leader, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu in his place, and cause as much havoc as he can when political parties in the governing coalition need to be put in their places.

It is a time honoured tactic to divert attention from the unpalatable. The MIC can live with Indian gangsters and social problems; but not when Mr Pandithan and, by extension, IPF is asked to help. As far as MIC is concerned, there is only one Indian leader, and he is not Mr Pandithan. The BN accepted this view, too -- not any more. It would like IPF in the BN; only that the godfather would not allow it. So, the other Indian party in the coalition, the People's Progressive Party (PPP), which neither represents the people nor is progressive -- one wonders if it is even a party -- is given a perk that should have been the MIC's: the post of deputy minister. The PPP president, Dato' M. Kayveas, is appointed to it.

So BN then did not need PPM. But its dustbin, the People's Progressive Party (PPP) does. Its president, Senator Dato' M. Kayveas, asked PPM to join PPP and head into irrelevance. The PPP cannot understand why Malaysians do not rush to join its ranks. But if the mountain would not come to Mohamed, Mohamed would go to the mountain. And PPP scours Indian groups -- mark you, this multiracial party is interested only in Indians -- to ask their members to join the party. As usual, he knows not what he talks about.

But in this inconsequential debate, the larger issue is ignored. No Barisan Nastional leader, from the Prime Minister done, came to tell Malaysians Mr Murugiah was talking through his hat. Even his party leader, Dato' M. Kayveas, did not rein in his youth leader for talking nonsense. (But when he himself speaks nonsense most of the time, how could he rein in others who do?)

If all he said is true and he clearly believes in polygamy, how much weight can one put on his apology to women? He may believe in any idea, but how did it become the PPP's? His mistake was to suggest it as a party leader. But then if he had made it as an individual, he would be dismissed as the fool he proves to be. His party president, Dato' M. Kayveas, is the least embarrassed by this ruckus. But with the heat now on him, he wants to suspend the fellow. Should he not suspend himself first? After all, he should have approved the speech before it was delivered. Or did he? If he did, why did he not object? If he did not, why is he president? What happened is more than an aberration. If Mr Murugiah defied party orders, he should not be suspended but sacked. If he did not, or the party central committee did not scrutinise it, then the PPP is indeed the joke it is.

The Country Heights Berhad, a listed company, owes the Subang Jaya Municipal Council (MPSJ) RM9 million in assessment arrears. As a housing developer, its managing director, Tan Sri Lee Kim Yew, seems confused about the difference between quit rent and assessment. The deputy minister for local government and housing, Dato' M. Kayveas, when he berates the MPSJ when it moved to seal Country Heights premises for non-payment. It should have asked his ministry to sort it out, he thunders. Tan Sri Lee does not deny the claim, only that he had paid RM3.8 million. That may be, but his compay still owes RM9 million. That he overpaid RM3.6 million in quit rent for the properties is no concern of the MPSJ. Quit rent is collected for the state, assessment for the municipality.

The Country Heights Berhad, a listed company, owes the Subang Jaya Municipal Council (MPSJ) RM9 million in assessment arrears. As a housing developer, its managing director, Tan Sri Lee Kim Yew, seems confused about the difference between quit rent and assessment. The deputy minister for local government and housing, Dato' M. Kayveas, when he berates the MPSJ when it moved to seal Country Heights premises for non-payment. It should have asked his ministry to sort it out, he thunders. Tan Sri Lee does not deny the claim, only that he had paid RM3.8 million. That may be, but his compay still owes RM9 million. That he overpaid RM3.6 million in quit rent for the properties is no concern of the MPSJ. Quit rent is collected for the state, assessment for the municipality.

The MIC president, S. Samy Vellu, went over the weekend because he cancelled an earlier visit because "secutity could not be guaranteed." But the PPP president and his beta noir, M. Kayveas, outstaged him and went earlier. The deputy prime minister, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, also visited the area, but he should have gone earlier than he did.

The MIC president, S. Samy Vellu, wants the Indian Progressive Front and its president, M.G. Pandithan, to give up the ghost and join him in the MIC. If that is scant incentive, the People's Progressive Party president, M. Kayveas, with a gravitas befitting his new status as an unelected deputy minister, tells him to join the MIC. But, of course, if he does not want to, the PPP is always open to them. Kayveas reads too much of Malaysian corporate moves in which the weaker takes over the stronger.

I had a dozen emails, after I posted my Chiaroscuro column on the cabinet reshuffle in malaysiakini (http"//www.malaysiakini.com) on Sang Kancil yesterday, berating me for not saying something about "our" new deputy minister of local government and housing, Dato' M. Kayveas. At a diplomatic dinner last night, I was told this new Indian deputy minister should make Indian community proud, even if the MIC president, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu, sulks at it. Dato' Kayveas himself is proud and grateful for the Prime Minister's "great trust" in him. What trust is that, I wonder?

The two new deputy ministers and one parliamentary secretary, all Senators, are the UMNO executive secretary (PSE CHECK), Tengku Adnan Tengku Mansor, who becomes deputy minister in the prime minister's department; the People's Progressive Party president M. Kayveas as deputy minister of housing and local government; the former Utusan Malaysia editor-in-chief Zainuddin Maidin as parliamentary secretary in the information ministry.

Dato' M. Kayveas, now finds he has more problems on his plate than suing Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu for defamation. His threat to sue after the irrelevant leader of the Indian community allegedly defamed him for insisting the Peoples Progressive Party he led was a party of straw. Such threats by self-important people is the hallmark of Bolehland's idiotic perception that self-proclaimed leaders should be treated by the world at large like rare porcelain china. And woe betide any who does not agree. But the High Court has declared Dato' Kayveas is not the president of the PPP, a decision he dismissed as having only an "academic" interest. It should be. He has his dato'ship, can reasonably expect a term in the senate, and then be kicked out by others seeking fame through the same route. That this party ought to have been wound up and its leaders consigned to the scrapheap a long time ago is of course something its leaders would not consider. One senior official of the party tried to convince me not so long ago that the PPP has a role in Malaysian political life, that it surpasses the MIC in political reach, that Dato' Kayveas is a man with a mission. When I suggested that PPP's role in the National Front equation is as resident court jester, and that Dato' Kayveas's mission partly fulfilled with his dato'ship, he got cross indeed.

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