For a few days the policy cock-up on English in schools is forgotten, as attention is diverted to the Gerakan-PPP squabble. Dato' Kayveas wants Gerakan suspended for its temerity to challenge the Emperor's flawed and ill-thought out policy on teaching English and Science in English. The BN government is caught in its own trap, with major revisions promised so it could retrieve some of its lost dignity. It provides Gerakan with a golden opportunity to recover lost ground with the Chinese community. And now has a brilliant issue to force the MCA out of its hair in Penang. The MCA leader, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, in his traditional role of hunting with the hounds and running with the hares, gave him that opportunity. He hummed and hawed about English while Dr Lim was unequivocal that the government policy was, to put it bluntly, wrong. The MCA may have to pay for it with losing some of what it has in Penang in the coming general elections.

The Prime Minister is clear the lightning rod of opposition are the Chinese educationists, on whom he would not hesitate to apply the Internal Security Act. Should he not then set an example of his determination by detaining under the ISA the two cabinet ministers -- the transport minister and MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, and the primary industries and Gerakan president, Dato' Seri Lim Kheng Yaik -- who defy him openly to earn him a black eye he cannot afford? For their opposition to an official policy after their approval would only strengthen the hands of those who violently oppose it.

The Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, insists his cabinet is at the cutting edge, not chopping block, of Malaysia's development and progress. He does not say it is in the same league, no doubt, as Perwaja Steel, the Employees Provident Fund, Renong, United Engineers Malaysia, Petronas, Telekom, MAS, Putra Jaya, all synonyms for Malaysia's "development and progress". But hear him out: "This cabinet of ours, which we know and other's don't, is more relaxed than those of other countries. Sometimes we hear raucous laughter in the Cabinet as if they are not serious and are just attending a social function." He implies that others like Mr Goh Chok Tong, Mr Tony Blair, Mr Atul Bihari Vajpayee drool at the prospect of having the excellent Malaysian ministers in their cabinet as Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu, Datin Rafidah Aziz, Dato' Seri Syed Hamid Albar, Datin Shahrizat Jalil. With them around, Malaysia's future is in good hands. No doubt theirs too. No doubt it is. Which is why they insist on staying on in the cabinet even after they have long begun their retirement in office. So they could be auctioned off to the highest bidder from foreign countries who need them.

But it could as well be Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed in UMNO, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik in MCA, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu in MIC, Tan Sri Dato' Pattingi Abdul Taib Mahmud in PBB, Dato' Seri Lim Kheng Yaik in Gerakan, Mr Lim Kit Siang in DAP, and others less well known who equate longevity in office as proof of their contribution to society.

The embattled MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, impresses all he is here to stay, his opponents led by his deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek, in dissarray and on the run. His supporters insist he is home free, and he plans to deal with the new UMNO president and Malaysian prime minister from strength. Nothing could be further than the truth. He should have retired at least a year ago so he would not be in the unenviable position he now is in. The Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, fighting for his political life, wants him to leave, but he believes he could outsmart him and remain by aligning with the man would be the next prime minister, Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. But he had blotted his copy book with him over the Mahathir-brokered MCA peace plan.

When this is challenged, the party Leader is quick to strike. The UMNO president, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, did it to three of his deputy president and Malaysia's deputy prime minister, with the one who failed in an open confrontation sitting in Sungei Buloh jail. The MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, and the MCA president, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu, view challenge as one which should be crushed with the heaviest political weapon they could bring to bear. The MIC has had only five presidents in its 56-year-history. Its first, Mr John Thivy went on to join the Indian foreign service on independence. The next two were forced out in palace coups and one died before he would have been. Every MCA president from the first in 1949 is forced out, kicking and screaming of treachery. So in UMNO, although the manner of the departure is more dignified. Only one died in office.

The Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, without consultation or debate, proclaims Malaysia to be an Islamic fundamentalist state. What he means to be fundamentalist is not President Bush's definition. What matters in the world outside, whether he likes it or not, is that the Bush definition is what is accepted. What this proclamation also reveals is the irrelevance and impotency of the National Front UMNO leads. For if Dato' Seri Abdul Hadi Awang or some PAS worthy had said what Dr Mahathir did, the likes of Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik and Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu would be let loose to attack him. This time there is total silence. Especially when the Prime Minister says his and UMNO's vision of a fundamentalist Islamic state is different from PAS' though both now adhere to the principle of it.

The Malaysian Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, officially calls on Pope John Paul II next month. Roman Catholics in Malaysia hope it would be more, that the Papal Father would visit Malaysia. The MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, is behind moves to have the Dalai Lama visit. Even if the MIC leader, Dato' Seri S. Samy Vellu, could not persuade the foremost Hindu cleric, the Shankaracharya of Kanchi, to visit, the general elections widely expected next year, would be amidst a frenzy of ecumenical amity. For this interest in getting religious heads to visit is to tighten the BN's continuing hold on the Malaysian electorate. It already has its impact: every political leader in the Opposition thinks it a wonderful idea.

The Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, did not ask the MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, to step down. There is no truth in rumours he had. "I have not said anything about this. I am totally neutral. It is up to the MCA to decide who should lead them," he said, in his usual off-the-cuff remarks to reporters when he returns from working visits overseas to rest before he leaves anew in a fortnight. (It is, I suppose, because he wants the MCA to chose its own leaders that he had decreed an uncontested slate in this year's party elections.) He has no idea how and why such talk and rumours surface. He need only talk to MCA leaders who are only too glad to give you chapter and verse of such involvement. If past practice is any guide, it is proof yet he orchestrates the MCA crisis, he wants Dr Ling out, and he is anything but neutral about what happens to the MCA. When he insists he is in public weeks after the issue is aired, it is proof he is.

The MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, says rumours of his resignation is around for so long he would not deign to comment. But the pressure is on. It is clearer by the day he would not be a candidate in the next general elections, possibly next year. The agreement to keep the peace the Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, brokered calls for Dr Ling and his deputy president and nemesis, Dato' Lim Ah Lek, to resign on a date the UMNO president decides. With that comes the threat: if he does not, the Soh Chee Wen trial in November would kick up so much dirt that would force him out anyway. The prosecution plans 300 witnessess, and if the trial is allowed to go on, it would not only be Dr Ling who would be implicated. If the trial goes on, more than Dr Ling would be implicated.

On the face of it, Dr Mahathir's US visit was a success. Look closer and you find it is fraught with ifs and buts. In one sense, President Bush has embraced Dr Mahathir by putting a poison pill (the continued support for Dato' Seri Anwar) as Dr Mahathir embraces the MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, with his poison pill (the fugitive business man, Dato' Soh Chee Wen). Now we have Dr Mahathir wriggling out over the Bush poison pill as Dr Ling over the Mahathir poison pill.

The MCA crisis descends from tragedy to farce. Its president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, tries to get the country focussed on him as the principled leader of the Chinese community, and a fugitive from justice, hear to face the music, keeps lobbing poisoned darts to unnerve him. Dr Ling says he had had no business dealings with Dato' Soh Chee Wen. "Utter nonsense and total rubbish," counters Dato' Soh. The New Straits Times describes him as a "former rising star who had a fallout with the party president". Dr Ling, he contends, is economical with the truth but is no liar. The MCA president desperately seeks to distance himself from this fugitive business man; indeed insisted on Wednesday (15 May 2002) Dato' Soh's return would not impinge on the party's leadership "as he had nothing to do with Soh and his financial dealings". He must wish if it were only true.

The fugitive business man, Dato' Soh Chee Wen, returned home to a media circus, face trial. He also missed his favourite dish, fish head curry. Mamak prepares it better at home than anywhere else. He misses Mamak the chef, and Mamak the politician. Mamak the politician put in train the chain of events that enables Dato' Soh to enjoy the culinary delights of Mamak the chef. He puts on a bold front, insists the politician Mamak aka the Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, did not strike a deal so he could enjoy the chef's fish head curry and unnerve his rotting fish head aka MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik. There is. The media circus is staged.

The MCA has an undeniable knack of doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. The UMNO president, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, brokered a deal between its president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, and its deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek, to prevent it from self-destructing. There would be no contest for all positions in the party AGM this week. The MCA steering committee rejected all nominations to challenge the status quo for what its secretary-general, Dato' Ting Chew Peh, said for "the party's stability". The Registrar of Societies, whick looks into these matters, do not see it as a violation of the rules and the constitution.

But challenges do not come overnight. It breaks into the open after behind-the-scenes persuasion and reason fail. As the tempo rises, the president turns tetchy and irritated in public. Before long, hemmed in by pressures to step down, he turns on his attackers to cause another messy public conflict that devalues the party. BN party presidents are, by their appointments, autocratic, with powers to expel any who dare challenge them. Every political party in BN is threatened by it. So, the UMNO president steps in to defuse the public squabbling, and save the face of the incumbent. As now in MCA. The MCA deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek, had much support that if he had challenged the president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, as he intended, he may not have won, but it would have forced Dr Ling out of office, split the party and the Chinese community would move further away from it.

The MCA deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek, denies UMNO runs MCA, so he told Mingguan Malaysia yesterday (21 April 02). The MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, is confident, he could chart the independent course he could not before UMNO moved in. The UMNO president decided MCA could not manage its affairs, deputed his deputy president, Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, to provide a temporary backbone for MCA so it would present a united front in the next general elections, possibly next year. But Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed does not know what he wants of the MCA, though he did read the Riot Act to both the Ling and Lim factions. First he wanted the MCA divisional elections and the Extraordinary general meeting suspended. Then he wanted the MCA divisional elections to go on but not the EGM. The Abdullah Badawi committee cannot decide. And all three await the return of Dr Mahathir in suspense, agony and trepidation.

When the Prime Minister's Department profers advise, it must be taken seriously as when a man with a loaded gun offers you a choice of "your money or your life". The editors fell in line without a whimper when it advised them to ignore the UMNO's takeover of the MCA and MCA's internal politics and politicking. For how long? The PMD would advise them when to. Press freedom in Malaysia includes the inalienable right to lose one job if one ignores official advise. So, not one newspaper or radio and television station reported it, and ignores developments in the MCA. The press blackout notwithstanding, all it showed is that MCA excels in shooting itself in the foot when faced with a crisis. The MCA president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, insists of being returned as president, but his deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek, disagrees. In a country where politics is personal rather than of ideas or worldviews, that is enough to cause a political party to self-destruct.

Tan Sri Isa has lost his way after nearly two decades in office. He is as irrelevant to UMNO as Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik is to MCA. He did not want to be left out of the loop or be seen as a Neanderthal for not jumping into this bandwagon of incest and rape. But if Utusan Malaysia damaged his reputation to make him out to be a male chauvinist pig many of his ilk are proud to be, he ought to sue the UMNO-owned newspaper into bankruptcy. Methinks he did say it, to resonate with the baying instant crowds to show his loyalty to women. Curiously, he did not demand chastity belts or castration for men. How could he? Many of his UMNO friends would be forced upon that indignity. That would not earn him any votes the next time he stands for the UMNO vice presidency.

The Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, left yesterday (15 April 2002) for a week-long visit to Morocco, Libya and Bahrain, and returns the day after the MCA's extraordinary general meeting. He ordered the two factions in MCA -- that of the president, Dato' Seri Ling Liong Sik, and of the deputy president, Dato' Seri Lim Ah Lek -- to shut up. The MCA is lucky it is in the National Front (BN). If it was, like DAP, in the opposition, Malaysia's newspapers, radio and television would have gone to town to dismiss it as a party that has lost its way. As it would when PAS, Keadilan or DAP have a minor hiccup in one of its divisions. In the MCA's more serious split, the BN president can order the leaders to shut up and the two men's agreement to follow is seen as an excellent example of how democracy should be practiced in the BN, if not in Malaysia. And the country applauds him for it. At least I get the impression it does.

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