MGG Pillai Commentary View

<< Previous || Next >>

Malay polygamy and the Malaysian mindset

Polygamy should not be taken lightly, warns the Kelantan mentri besar, Dato' Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat. If a non-Muslim takes a second wife, he goes to jail. But a Muslim, in Malaysia's vision of an Islamic society, is honour bound to be polygamous, because there are more women than men in Malaysia, and women, after all, should have a family life. Such gobbledygook is spread, in all seriousness, to justify why Muslim men's libido must be assuaged with the acquisition of multiple wives. Dato' Nik Aziz has no qualms with that. By all means take a second wife, he says. But if you then divorce the first wife and neglect his children, you should be caned.

In other words, it is all right to take a second wife, but not if you then divorce the first. It is axiomatic, in Malay society, that a Malay on the way up needs a second wife to show the world he has arrived. The status of the first wife is kept, even if she is then ignored. The second -- trophy -- wife comes to disturb the matrimonial home, and remains until another catches his fancy. Sometimes, the third and fourth slots of the four wives allowed a Muslim are filled, before the marital musical chairs begin.

Successful Malay men either have more than wife, or seriously consider taking one, to announce their new status on the slippery pole of success. There are laws honoured in its breach that he needs the consent of his first wife to marry a second, third or fourth. He ignores it, crosses the border into southern Thailand and marrying there. The then mentri besar of Selangor and now UMNO vice president, Tan Sri Muhammad Taib, took that route. Tan Sri Tajudin Ramli first acquired the national air carrier, MAS, then acquired as his second wife the wife of one of his pilots. But many who took second wives live in mortal dread their first wives would find out. Many abandon their wives to live with mistresses, confident of being beyond the law. As always, in such matters, what is allowed Zeus is disallowed the cow.

In this debate, the views of the woman are all but ignored. Malay chauvinism demands the articulate, professional, working women is deliberately ignored. Yet it is they who raise the Malay threshold of success. Without them and their contribution, the Malay would be even more disadvantaged. In short, the main stay of Malay success is because of them, not of the high flying Malay men. UMNO saw this, formed a new wing it called Puteri UMNO -- ignoring the opposition from its women's wing -- to bring them in. It is the most farsighted move UMNO had made in recent years, and its success has forced other political parties to consider similar moves, and forced Parti Sa-Islam Malaysia (PAS), to bring its women leaders into the national limelight in their own right, not as relicts of their husbands.

But they are always aware who they are, and how easily they can be cowed. In the 1970s, the professional UMNO women were horrified that the then Yang Dipertuan Agung took as a second wife a student from the Mara Institute of Technology. They marched in high dudgeon to the then Prime Minister, Tun Abdul Razak's official residence. He heard them out, and told them that for them it was a case of sour grapes. "You would rather that the daughter of one of you married him instead!" he said dismissively. One lady in that march bristles at that to this day. But this view remains high in discussion of matters affecting them these days.

At one time, all races and tribes in the country allowed polygamy. Over the years leading to independence, especially during British rule, monogamy was the norm, the polygamous man, with his multiple wives, a rare exception. It was considered right and proper for Chinese men to have multiple wives, but not for the Malay and Indian, although they was no religious or other inhibitions against it. But it was not accepted socially. In Johore Bahru, where I grew up, I knew of prominent Malays, Indians and Chinese who had multiple wives. They were all socially prominent. In a sense this cushioned them. But the secondary wives were kept hidden. So strict it was that cabinet ministers who took a second wife would rather resign than continue in office. But as Islam came to be more than the state religion, and intruded in all sectors of society, with an active official pressure to convert as many heathens to Islam, polygamy was often used as a bait. If a non-Malay converted, he is, in the eyes of the law, automatically divorced from his wife, if she does not convert with him. He is free to marry again, often does.

The first three prime ministers would not allow cabinet ministers and senior officials to take multiple wives. The fourth, Dato' Seri Mahathir Mohamed, would not at first, but does now if only to strengthen his Islamic credentials. He -- and his wife -- would once freeze out any cabinet minister who took a second wife. Not any more. Many Malay -- and even non Malay -- cabinet ministers whom the public believe have only one wife have one or more hidden away. One prominent, now former, cabinet minister filled his his Islamic quota of four wives; when a fifth takes his fancy, the second is divorced. Another took a second wife, divorced the first, but the second breathes down his neck so hard that he must content himself with mistresses and visiting film actresses.

It is now seen as unIslamic to insist upon monogamy as a way of life. At one time, no cabinet minister could not take a second wife. If he did, he was frozen out. Once, if a retired widower took a second wife, she is not entitled to the pension normally allowed to the relict of the dead. Now, her pension benefits are restored. If she is a widow receiving a pension, she is allowed both. Dr Mahathir would face a political crisis and lose his job if he were to demand the resignation of cabinet ministers with more than one wife. More than half would then have to leave, including one or two who, in the public mind, would not look at another woman.

When politicians would not, for fear of offending the voters, address the issue of polygamy, such suggestions as Nik Aziz's to cane errant husbands only point to the vacuousness of it all: he does not want to address the issue; but wants to be in control. They do not have the guts to stand up and reform Islam to make it monogamous. One great reform the late Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the then Prime Minister of Pakistan, did was to phase out polygamy from the mainstream. Polygamy is not banned, but many government posts insist upon monogamy as a condition. So much those with multiple wives represent the fringe element in Pakistani society. Here it is the reverse. Polygamy is encouraged among the high and mighty in society. The usual twaddle is repeated to justify it: "Among others, one must be knowledgeable, have strong faith and be tolerant." How many of those who acquire second wives as often as BMWs and Mercedes Benzes would follow this religious injunction.

How frivolous this debate on polygamy is can be seen from snippets from the debate in the Kelantan state assembly: Dato' Nik Aziz and the deputy mentri besar, Dato' Abdul Halim Abdul Rahman, are "more than qualified" to take second wives; the state religious authorities have no plans to issue blank signed certificates for elected representatives to take another wife. When all is said and done, every Muslim man deems it his right to acquire more than one wife and up to the permitted maximum of our. The Prophet Muhammad had specified the conditions and reasons why it is allowed, and only if the husband can look after each as well as the other. All that is forgotten. Only the right is insisted upon.

Now that polygamy brings in its wake serious social problems and instability, some action must be taken: so what better than cane those who divorce the first wife after taking the second. But if the larger social problems and inequity polygamy brings in its wake is unresolved, nothing would. Not when polygamy is waved at the non-Muslim as a recruiting device. But it is Malay insecurities, not Islam, which encourages polygamy. He views it as a defence against the more vibrant non-Malay, by swamping the country with more children to reduce the non-Malay population to far lower than it already is. He is mollycoddled into a life of government handouts and special help to get on with his life, finds he cannot, and believes the more often he marries, the more children he can have, and that in the future, he hopes, would put the non-Malay in his place. Having lost the race, he can at least benefit from his right to a polygamous home.

M.G.G. Pillai
pillai@mgg.pc.my